Preparing for the Holidays
Dementia and Holiday Planning
Written By: Shari Flight, CDP, Owner & co-founder of Ember Holistic Care LLC
Regardless of what holidays you celebrate, the holiday season is a stressful time of year for most. From decorating your home, cooking a nice meal, shopping for presents, or hosting, there is so much involved compacted into such a short amount of time. As if all of this is not stressful enough, having a loved one with dementia to care for can make it even more stressful. However, it does not need to be! There are things that you can do as the caregiver to make this time of year a bit easier for you and your loved one with dementia.
Control the Environment
Sometimes the environment on the holidays can be overwhelming for the person with dementia. The noise level is usually higher than normal between music and the chatter of guests. This can be overstimulating for the person with dementia which can lead to increased dementia related symptoms. Making sure that you are paying attention to their facial expressions and body language can prevent dementia related behaviors. Simply recognizing if they are overstimulated will allow you to remove them from the environment if needed. If possible, make sure there is a quiet space for your loved one to escape to if the larger environment is doing more harm than good.
Time of Day
For most people living with dementia, late afternoon into the evening is a hard time for them. They begin to experience sundowning, and this can change their entire demeanor. Additionally, if they are away from their home to celebrate the holiday, then that sundowning can be exacerbated. So, if possible, try to hold your family celebrations earlier in the day. This will make it a better experience for everyone involved. Your loved one will be in a clearer state of mind (in most cases) which will allow them to enjoy themselves a bit more, and you and other family members will not need to worry about their well-being.
Have a Plan
Hosting people in your home? If you are the host, then you of course will not be able to give all of your attention to your loved one. So, have another family member dedicated to making sure your loved one is doing OK and does not need anything. Going elsewhere? Have a plan in place to leave early if your loved one is not thriving being around too many people in an overstimulating environment.
Give Them a Purpose
When someone is diagnosed with dementia, it is common for the caregiver(s) to want to do everything for them instead of with them. We want to remember to focus on what they still can not instead of what they no longer can do. Give them some tasks to help you out! Whether that is cutting vegetables, folding napkins, or watching for the arrival of guests. We all thrive when we have a purpose, so allow them to help you in something that they are still able to do.
Educate Family
As the caregiver, you have every right to educate family on where your loved one is in their dementia journey. This will be helpful so that they know what to expect, topics to avoid, topics that are successful, and they will have a better understanding of how to best support you and your loved one.
Celebrate a Different Day
As someone progresses with their dementia, they may not recognize that it is a holiday. If they do not do well leaving their home, or being around all of the family, then invite a few key family members over for a smaller celebration on a different day. In most cases they will have no idea and will still enjoy themselves just as much.
Plan for YOU
YOU deserve to enjoy the holidays like you always have. Never feel guilty for asking for or accepting help. Whether that is asking another family to step up so you can enjoy a drink or two, or hiring a home health aid to join you for the holiday, you deserve some time to sit back and enjoy your company without having to be the caregiver for even just a moment.
The holidays can still be enjoyed by you and your loved one with dementia. So, just remember to have a plan to assure that it will be successful for everyone.
